Even after we’d been broken up for a few months he’d still write to me and ask what I was doing and how I was …” When I started dating my husband, I didn’t really feel that we had any cultural barriers.I guess because by then I’d been in Japan long enough that I knew my way around and I had lived with two Japanese host families, so I have a good sense of Japanese manners and customs.My first Japanese boyfriend would go for weeks without contacting me because he was working late every day.Also, a general lack of e-mailing, phone calls etc. Although I don’t think that this just applies to Japanese men!” “If you can both speak the other person’s language, there are probably going to be disagreements about what language to speak.
In my case, for instance, men are quick to bring up the topic of bikinis and love hotels the minute I mention I’m Latina. For a long while, after the loss of someone I planned on spending my entire life with, I gave in to that stereotype and was unable to get involved in a serious relationship.” “Now, I’m in a happy relationship with an older man who doesn’t speak a lick of English or Spanish, which is my main language. For one, I’m very passionate in my way of moving and speaking, and I sometimes forget to respect personal space. This applied more in Japan than when we were in England, although now he seems completely okay with it.
At first, we went through periods where we would only speak English (which I didn’t like) or when we would only speak Japanese (which he didn’t like). ” “I think in general, it’s important to be very open about what you are expecting from the relationship.
Obviously we change it according to the circumstances (we are not going to speak in English to each other when out with a lot of Japanese friends! If you need a lot of hugs and affection, make sure that he knows and don’t just get annoyed that he’s not automatically doing it.
After publishing the article “The Truth About Dating In Japan As A Foreigner” a lot of female readers asked me what it’s like to date a Japanese guy.
Many seemed to be interested in cultural differences and resulting problems in the relationship between a foreign woman and a Japanese man.